My motivation for writing this week’s post is simple: I want to share a few different perspectives from the three sides of the hiring table (candidates, hiring managers, and recruiters) with the hope that everyone realizes we’re all human and could stand to treat each other a little kinder.
Because, honestly, everything feels tense right now.
Not just in hiring, in general.
People are tired. Stressed. Quick to assume bad intent.
I saw two posts on LinkedIn this week that stopped me mid-scroll.
The first was someone publicly berating a salesperson’s outreach. The message itself was respectful, clear, and human. But the response? Full of attitude and ego.
The second was a guy telling recruiters and hiring managers to “F off.” It had a lot of engagement.
And I get it. Everyone’s frustrated. Candidates are burnt out from being ghosted. Recruiters are drowning in volume. Hiring managers are under pressure to get it right and fast.
But the problem isn’t that hiring is broken.
It’s that our expectations of each other are.
The Candidate Side
I get it. The silence sucks.
You spend an hour rewriting your resume and tailoring your message, and then it disappears into the void. You feel invisible.
And you’re not wrong to feel that way. Candidates deserve clarity and communication. A simple “no” is fine. A black hole isn’t.
But what’s happening behind the scenes is messy. Recruiters are juggling hundreds of applicants for every role, and many are under unrealistic demands. Some companies don’t have systems in place to respond well. Others just don’t prioritize it.
The problem isn’t one side being lazy. It’s that expectations have become disconnected from reality.
If you’re a candidate, here’s the shift:
Hiring doesn’t need to move fast. It needs to move clearly.
When you’re interviewing, ask direct questions:
What does your interview process typically look like?
How do you communicate feedback?
Will I hear back even if it’s a no?
You’re not being pushy by asking. You’re setting expectations upfront.
And when you don’t get an answer, try to remember it says more about the company’s culture than your worth.
The Hiring Manager Side
Most hiring problems I see aren’t about finding great people. They’re about chasing unicorns that don’t exist.
Companies want candidates who are senior enough to lead, junior enough to be hands-on, cheap enough to fit the budget, and humble enough not to ask questions.
And then they wonder why the search takes six months.
If you’re a hiring manager, your job isn’t to find the best person on paper. It’s to find the right person for where your company actually is.
Here’s the shift:
Stop hiring for fantasy. Start hiring for fit and stage.
What you can control:
Clarity over perfection. Be specific about outcomes, not wish lists.
Consistency over speed. Great hiring is thoughtful, not frantic.
Honesty over optics. If your culture is in progress, say so. The right people will appreciate the transparency.
Hiring starts to work when expectations match reality.
The Recruiter Side
Recruiters live in the middle of this mess, translating between two groups who rarely talk the same language.
When it’s done well, recruiters are truth-tellers and educators.
When it’s done poorly, we’re resume pushers.
I’ve had clients come to me after months of searching, convinced there’s “no one good out there.” But when we dig deeper, the real issue is usually clarity. They don’t actually know what success looks like in the role.
Once we get clear, hiring suddenly gets easier. That’s not luck. That’s alignment.
Here’s the shift:
Recruiters aren’t salespeople. We’re educators.
Good recruiters help both sides see what’s real, not just what’s ideal.
What we can control:
Setting expectations early, with candidates and clients.
Communicating even when there’s nothing new to say.
Being brave enough to say, “That’s not realistic.”
When we do that, we stop being middlemen and start being partners.
The Real Problem
Everyone thinks the system is broken because everyone feels disappointed.
Candidates expect speed and fairness.
Managers expect perfection.
Recruiters expect control.
When each side focuses on what they can control (instead of what they can’t) the whole system works better.
Hiring isn’t broken. It’s just full of people who are frustrated, overwhelmed, and often operating from misunderstanding.
We don’t need a new process. We need better expectations.
The Takeaway
If you take nothing else from this, let it be this:
Everyone on the other side of the hiring table is just a person trying to do their job.
Candidates are scared and tired.
Hiring managers are under pressure to get it right.
Recruiters are caught between the two.
So before you post a snarky comment, send an angry reply, or assume the worst, take a breath.
We can’t fix the entire system overnight. But we can choose to treat people like people again.
And that might actually be where the real change starts.
See you next Monday,
Robin
#GoRogue