How To Actually Work With A Recruiter

I need to preface this week’s post with a potential apology. This is something I am very passionate about and I might be a little too fire-y. Just know I say it all with love and the hope it helps you have a better, more meaningful relationship with the recruiters in your life.

Let's talk about something that apparently needs saying: how to actually work with a recruiter.

Recruitment gets more hate than almost any industry (maybe one step above MLM). And you know what? After seeing both sides (from relationship-driven internal recruitment to metrics-obsessed big agency life) I understand. It's why I started Rogue in 2018.

Here's the thing though: Everyone's got an opinion about recruiters. Everyone's got a horror story. Everyone thinks they know exactly what's wrong with the industry.

But when it comes to actually working with a recruiter? Most folks are doing it wrong.

Let’s start with a tip that somehow needs to be said: If you tell enough recruiters to F off, don’t be surprised when they stop reaching out. Even when you suddenly need them.

Below is an email exchange from early 2024 with someone who was offended I reached out asking for referrals. I marked the candidate as do not contact…and recently reached back out to ask if anyone from our office reached out in the last year. Was I poking the bear? Sure…but this exchange really got under my skin and bothered me. This person’s 2025 update? Was laid off 6+ months ago and recruiters have stopped reaching out.

Look, I get it. The recruiting industry is rough and hard to navigate, especially right now. It’s so much harder than it should be and there is an incredible burden on candidates to break through the noise. I’m sorry for that. But this kind of response? It's like setting your house on fire because you don't like the paint color.

Here's the crazy thing...helping people is literally why I do this. Even when I don't have an open role, I try to add value (hell, it's why I started this newsletter). But I can't help if you won't let me.

And, sure. You can’t yell at the people you want actually to, so you yell at recruiters. Alright. But how does that serve you?

So, if you're open to some real feedback about how you can work better with recruiters (and actually get results), here it is:

Searching for a job is a highly emotional, vulnerable experience where a lot feels out of your control. In a typical situation, you wouldn't let strangers influence your feelings of worth, but in a job search, it's the norm. So when you connect with a kind, caring recruiter, it makes sense that the flood gates might open. Finally! Someone in your corner who sees you!

And I do see you. I genuinely care about your hopes, dreams, and career goals. That's why I do this.

But I want to gently remind you about boundaries. When a recruiter speaks with you, they're gauging whether they feel comfortable tying their reputation to yours. If they get off the phone knowing all about your divorce and custody battle, a line has been crossed. It's perfectly fine to share that you need flexibility for school pickups, but the deeply personal why doesn't need to be shared.

Being upfront and candid about your professional needs is essential to a successful relationship with a recruiter. Oversharing intimate details is not.

And remember: Those deeply personal issues deserve proper support…from close friends or a therapist who can truly hold space for what you need.

You want ROI, not resumes. But here's the thing: if you treat recruiters like vendors instead of partners, you'll get vendor-level results.

Sure, you can "test the waters" by blasting your job description to multiple agencies with just a salary range and crossing your fingers. But if they start a search with that little info? Red flag. They're going to throw everything at the wall and hope something sticks. By treating the recruitment relationship as a transactional one, you have made it so that’s the sort of service you get.

Here's another truth: I will match your urgency and timeline. You want to be a priority for our team? Show us through your actions. Quick feedback, clear communication, respect for the process. That's how you get our best work. You set the pace, we'll match it. But don't expect us to treat your role like an emergency if you're treating it like a side project.

Recent example: Had a client where feedback was taking a week+, process was stalled, candidates were losing interest. Had a real conversation with their HR about how delays affect priorities and company reputation. Now? Quick feedback, excited candidates, final round interviews happening. Open communication is key.

The market is noisy enough without us making it worse. AI is pumping out generic resumes, generic job descriptions, generic everything. The only way to cut through that noise is with real relationships and clear communication.

Want better results?

Because at the end of the day, we're all trying to make good things happen for good people. But we can only be as effective as the partnership allows.

See you next Monday,

Robin

#gorogue

Stop throwing resumes at the wall. Stop ghosting good candidates. Stop treating recruitment like a numbers game.

Let's build something that actually works.

Because right now? You're probably losing great hires to the chaos.

👉 Ready to fix it? Reply for your free 30-min Hiring Health Check.

In a world driven by data, efficiency, and bottom lines, how do we keep humanity at the heart of business?

This month in Welcome to The Rogue Show, hosts Robin Walters and Brad O’Hara sit down with Dr. Elizabeth Dunlap as she shares the unfiltered story of building her dream pediatric practice…and watching it unravel. From launching in the middle of a pandemic to juggling motherhood, business ownership, and patient care, she opens up about what it felt like to hit a wall: financially, emotionally, and personally. Despite pouring herself into the business, she found herself burned out, in debt, and ultimately forced to let it all go.

But this isn’t a story of failure; it’s one of rebuilding.

Now practicing in a concierge model with a smaller patient load and more balance, Dr. Dunlap talks about redefining success, finding herself again, and what it means to release the version of life you thought you wanted in order to make space for something healthier, more human, and more sustainable. With grace and grit, she explores grief, ego, identity, and the long road to peace.